Life Update

Family room, eating area and kitchen
"My house isn't messy, it's custom-designed by toddlers."

Moving:
We have moved to our new house in Burnsville!  When we were shopping, this house was the only one we really loved; we are so thankful that we were able to buy it.  The kids each have a bedroom (Linus had been sleeping in our dining room since he sleeps too lightly to be in with Felicity), I have lots of counter space, and everything is so nice and open.  We are pretty much moved in on the main level and upstairs.  The basement needs a lot of work, and the garage is very full and unorganized.  The neighborhood is nice, but very quiet.  We've met only a few people - the only one who came over to meet us was Bob next door.  He has 2 big dogs that the kids just love.  When the dogs get let out, the kids run to the deck door so I can let them out to watch.  All they do is run around, but to my kiddos, it's a full-blown dog show!

GAPS:
Now that we are on the full GAPS diet, planning food is a little easier.  We are just about out of freezer meat, and I'm really looking forward to getting more meat this month.  We have 1/2 of a hog and 1/4 of a cow coming from our wonderful farm where we have been getting milk, cheese, yogurt and meat for about 4 years now.  Felicity frequently says, "Can we have that (something sugary usually) when we are all done on our GAPS diet?"  But she's holding up really well, even when people (daddy!) are eating things she can't have.  I have seen her eczema die back down again, so hopefully we're doing something right.

Summer:
We have welcomed a new nephew born in OK to my brother and his wife.  He was born 4 weeks early and had a rough start, but he's home and doing well.  She was planning to have a homebirth, but that couldn't happen since he was too early.  But she did her Hypnobabies and had a natural childbirth at the hospital - awesome job, Jess!  Can't wait to meet him in person - maybe we'll have to make that long drive...

Also, I'm super excited because my dear friend who lives in Africa and who I miss terribly is coming to my house on Friday!  She'll be staying about a week and I am so excited to spend lots of time talking and laughing with her.  I last saw her when Linus was a newborn.  I love that she wants to spend her life serving God overseas, but I also hate that she lives so far away.  I thank God for Skype, email, and airplanes.

Linus:
He's finally preferring walking over crawling, though he still crawls a lot.  He is loving the new playroom and all the toys that are finally unpacked.  He says "doggie," "car," "kitty," "daddy," "baby" and a couple other words.  He understands so much too.  As soon as he sees me scooping food onto plates he rushes to his booster seat and whines to be put in.  If he sees me getting my purse or keys, he goes to find his shoes.  He loves to be tickled and wrestled, and loves meeting new people and animals.

Felicity:
Well, for a long time I have been listening to the advice "Your kid will potty-train when they are ready - just give them opportunity" and I'm throwing it in the toilet.  I know that works for some kids, but not this one.  We have been giving her potty opportunities and incentives for well over a year and made zero progress.  So this week, I'm buckling down and making her do it.  That sounds harsh, it's really not.  She is not against doing it, she just has absolutely no self-motivation in this area.  So we're doing lots of no-diaper time, lots of "you have to sit on the potty and try" time, and lots of stickers, undies, cute pull-ups - whatever she is in the mood for.  For 2 days she has spent lots of time sitting there, peed a tiny bit, and then wet the pull-up or diaper I gave her when I could no longer force her to stay in the kitchen (hard floor).  But yesterday we had a little break through.  She peed a little in the evening, so I let her wear a Dora pull-up with a big talk about how Dora doesn't want you to pee on her, blah blah.  She went downstairs to be with Jeff, and a half hour later told him her potty was coming!  He sent her up, she ran to the potty and yelled for help (it's hard to pull down those pull-ups when you're so excited), and sat down and peed!  That's the first time she has ever known it was coming and gotten herself to the potty.  We made a huge deal out of that, and I hope it happens again today!  I put her on once already and she went, so maybe we have really turned a corner.

GAPS Intro - The Continuing Story

Well, we have made it most of the way through the GAPS intro.  I will admit I have not done everything by the book.  On stage 1, I felt like I was just working through a simple checklist.  Make this, eat this, drink this, check!  But as I progressed through stages and added more things, I just couldn't do everything.  There are just too many things to think about and have ready and eat and drink, etc...  I have been faithful to the diet - the only cheating I did was drinking the juice for communion this Sunday (a friend on GAPS makes bread for us "special" people).  But I certainly haven't had my broth with egg yolk and a fermented veggie with every single meal.  Or garlic, avocado and kraut juice in every bowl of soup.  You do what you can, right?  I started stage 5 today which is where raw veggies are added.  I made dressing with olive oil, basil and garlic and had that over butter lettuce with cucumbers.  Yum!

I still don't feel very different; my abdominal pain is still there.  But I'm going to keep at it because I know my gut needs the healing.  I also have a metallic taste in my mouth which can be a sign that the body is not getting enough carbs, that it is processing and getting rid of metals stored in it, or several other things.  I have started cooked fruit for more carbs, and if my body does have metal stored, I am thrilled to be getting rid of it!

I have also experienced what I would call "GAPS fatigue" a few times.  Making all this food is a lot of work, and on days when I don't have leftovers or a plan I feel very tired.  I just want to grab something out of my fridge and eat, but it's not there!  I like cooking, but this is just so much cooking.  On Sunday I did make a meal plan for the week with a grocery list (shopped on Sunday too), and it has helped a lot.

Felicity is doing well with the eating, but not so well with the eczema.  I have been letting her have new things sooner than I have had them just to keep her happy.  I gave her ghee for stage 2 and soon after squash pancakes for stage 3 which have whole eggs in them both in the same day or so.  A few days later, all her spots of eczema had come back.  I immediately suspected the dairy since a relative has dairy allergies also.  But after cutting dairy back out for almost a week now, the eczema is the same.  So starting today she is off eggs too, and we'll see if that helps.  If I can't figure out the cause, I think I will do as a friend suggested and take her for a specific allergy test.  Now that I have seen the eczema go almost away and come back, I am concerned that she has been eating and reacting to something.

GAPS Intro Stage 1

Day 1 -
Today has gone fairly well.  Felicity tried my squash soup and even drank some!  I thought the soups tasted great, but maybe after several days of this I will feel differently.  :)  I bought the book What Can I Eat Now? to guide me through the introduction stages, and it has been very helpful.  Today we ate squash soup, carrot soup, boiled broccoli, cooked onions and a whole chicken!

Day 2 -
More challenging than day 1 for sure.  The second Felicity woke up, she was asking for cereal.  After her first few bites of food, she threw up which concerned me a bit.  After that, she was fine and did eat a good amount of food today.  She would not try any soup, although she did eat a little of a popsicle I made out of the pureed squash soup.  We ate hamburgers cooked in broth, carrot/cauliflower soup, broccoli soup, leek and onion soup (I won't make that one again), and some roast.  Also I have been drinking ginger honey tea and plan to make a popsicle out of that tomorrow.  Really, I am doing fine.  Having been gluten-free for years, I am used to turning down things I know I would like, and I don't mind eating a small variety of foods for a while.  But this is very hard to do with a kid.  If they don't like something, they simply will not eat it, and that's hard on a diet where eating nourishing things is crucial.  There should be a "Doing GAPS with kids" support group!  Today we did survive a trip to Sam's Club avoiding the samples (I really expected a full tantrum, but she did great!), and I treated myself to some new Pyrex containers at Wal-Mart.  We have also been doing a lot of TV (or You Tube Veggie Tales songs) for distraction.

Days 3-5
These days have gone much better.   I don't know why I started with pureed soups instead of just going to normal broth/veggie/meat soup like we have had many times.  Felicity ate that kind much better than the purees.  I have started adding phase 2 things for her (egg in the soup) just to keep it interesting, but I will start phase 2 tomorrow.  She loved the ginger tea and honey popsicle, which is basically the only "treat" I am giving her right now, so she asks for one often.  I also have been better about involving her with making the food, and I think that has helped.  I let her put the egg in her soup, she "helped" me cook the chicken today, and she loves putting salt on our food with the new grinder I got.  Fortunately she doesn't seem to notice that all our meals are almost the same - or doesn't care!  Today I was trying to feed her some leftovers and she asked for soup instead.  :)  She hasn't followed all the "rules" like having broth with each meal, and she has probably had more honey than is recommended for stage 1, but we did our best and I'm proud of her for all the good food she is eating with a great attitude.

By day 3, I was finally able to take a break from cooking.  I had lots of leftovers, so I didn't need to make everything on the meal plan.  I cooked a lot on day 4, and today (5) has been rather easy again.  We went to a few garage sales, went to the park, and had a bike ride this evening.

Yay we survived stage 1!  I decided that doing GAPS intro, especially with kids, is kind of like having a baby.  It's not easy - it is a lot of work.  But it's also not impossible - you get through the hard parts, and you can do it!  Also, things don't always turn out perfectly, but you do the best you can in the moment.

Things that have surprised me about GAPS intro:

• How much time this takes.  Seriously, chopping and cooking this much from-scratch food is a full-time job!  Left-over days are a huge blessing.
• How many dishes I would have to wash.  I have used most of my pots several times, I have to wash the Vita-mix a couple times a day, and I am constantly running out of food storage (I try to use only glass but don't have enough) containers.  Also, since nearly every food contains broth, the dishes are very greasy and hard to wash.
• How emotional this would get.  I have been almost in tears several times today whenever Felicity was in actual tears over something she couldn't have.  It's hard to explain to a child for the 20th time, "No you can't have _____ . It's not a GAPS diet food."  With many things I can say. "We'll be able to eat that in a few days, just not today," but that doesn't really help.  I have explained to her the reasons we are doing this, but those don't mean much to a kid who JUST WANTS A BANANA!  Soon, honey!
• How much water I am using. Seriously, like 2 gallons a day!  I've already had to send Jeff on a late-night run to fill our bottles at the store.

So, the real question is: Is it helping?  Yes and no.  Felicity is already showing improvement, but I am not.  Her eczema got worse and new spots popped up.  But the stuff she has had for a long time is now visibly decreasing.  The new spots still look pretty bad (for example: we went to see my cousin and her new baby in the hospital, and I was afraid that if a nurse saw her neck they would immediately quarantine her for a contagious rash :), but her fingers, toes, and backs of knees look much better.  I am not feeling any different.  I still have a lot of pain in my stomach and intestines.  But I've heard that sometimes you feel worse before you feel better because your body is detoxing, so I'm going to hang in there.

On to Stage 2.

The GAPS Diet - Taking the Plunge

I have been eating gluten-free for about 4 years now.  Though I believe it has helped me, and greatly reduced the stomach pain I had at the time, I have come to believe that going gluten-free is not enough for me to be healthy.  I still have pain in my intestines, and I suspect I may have other allergies to foods.  So, I am starting a pretty difficult diet that is designed to heal one's gut (digestive system) and possibly cure some allergies and other health problems along the way.  Many mental conditions can also be helped by this diet.  The diet cuts out all grains and sugar, anything processed or artificial, and some diary products.  I have some friends already doing it who have been a big help explaining things, and I have read most of the book Gut and Psychology Syndrome that gives the reasons behind the diet and the how-to instructions.  If you want to learn more about the GAPS diet, you can click here. I don't know everything about it, or if it will solve all my problems, but I know I need to try something.  When you start the diet, you eat a very limited number of foods and gradually add back in things that could be hard on your body because of an allergy or sensitivity.  Then you stay grain- and sugar-free for a long time (not sure yet how long I can/will do this :) to give your body lots of time to heal.

Even harder than the decision to start the GAPS diet was the decision to add my extremely opinionated 3-yr-old to the mix.  Felicity has had eczema since she was a tiny baby, and it has gotten pretty bad lately.  I have never limited her foods to see if she has any allergies, so this diet for her is both to heal her gut and check for allergies.  I do think it's going to be hard.  She loves food, especially foods that would fall into the "treat" category.  I think she could get very upset when I tell her she can't have certain things  that she is used to.  I pray I can parent her well while asking her to do something that is difficult.

We're starting tomorrow, but I'm pretty nervous.  I've done what I can to prepare, buy the right foods, make lots of broth, etc...  It's time to just do it!

Felicity's 3rd Birthday

 Here's my big 3-year-old with Grandma Hubel blowing out her candles.

Felicity turned 3 on May 21 after weeks of asking "Is it my birthday now?" every single day.  She had 2 Cat-in-the-Hat birthday parties - one with Grandparents and one with little friends.  When she woke up on her birthday, Jeff and I dumped balloons on her in bed which she thought was pretty funny.  I guess she's officially a preschooler now!

Opening presents with Grandma Berglund

Isabel (second cousin) at her party with friends

Felicity and Cassidy

Cat-in-the-Hat cupcakes

Her favorite part - blowing out candles!

No Mommy Wars for Me, Please!

If you follow any parenting, especially natural parenting blogs or websites, you have probably seen that TIME magazine wrote an article about attachment parenting.  The particular attention-getter is the front cover of a photo that shows a mom breastfeeding a 3-year-old boy.  I think we moms have to walk a fine line between passionately holding to our parenting choices (especially when we have done hours of research on, say, what kind of cloth diapers we want to use :)  and engaging in so-called "mommy wars."  Yes I care that babies get breastfed, that newborn boys are kept intact, and that people pick up crying babies.  I will continue to provide advice and encouragement to anyone who wants it regarding things that I have learned.  But these manufactured fights are just ways for media companies to get ratings.  And the result is more mothers either judging those who make "worse" choices or feeling like everyone is judging them.

Here's a great article about a mothering issue we all need to care about: some kids don't have one!
http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/05/where-is-mommy-war-for-motherless-child.html

Fluff vs. Sposies

If you are not a parent of a baby, this post won't be relevant to you. But if you are diapering a baby now or will be in the future, you may want to consider using cloth diapers, aka "fluff." I much prefer to use fluffy, soft, washable diapers rather than plasticy, chemical-smelling, throw-away diapers. Here's why I like them, what I use, and helpful links if you want to try it.

Let me just start by saying that I am thankful for disposable diapers. Sometimes it is just easier to use the diaper and throw it away. I use disposables when we are on a road trip, when the kids to go the nursery, and at other times that cloth just isn't convenient. I have a mom friend who takes her cloth on vacation and finds a laundromat if necessary - that is dedication that I do not have.

But for most of my kids' lives they have been wearing fluff, and I am overall very happy with the results. The most tangible result of using cloth is $$$$$. Some diaper websites estimate that if you use their diapers instead of disposables, you will pay only about 10% of what you would have spent had you used sposies. That seems a little to good to be true, and not quite accurate for people like me who still spend some money on disposables. But even if the number is 25% or 50% of the cost of disposables, that is a great savings. Plus, this math is only factoring in one kid. If you reuse the diapers for a second (or more!) child, you already purchased the diapers and are saving a ton. Here is a very detailed chart estimating the cost of disposables.


I also use cloth because I care about the earth. Humans consume a lot of stuff, and throw most of it away when they are done. Our family is careful to recycle whatever we can, reuse as much as possible, and buy things that are just less wasteful. I know my 2 kids wearing cloth doesn't make a huge difference in the grand scheme of trash in the landfills, but it's what I can do.

Finally, I love that cloth diapers are free from potentially dangerous chemicals. The skin is the body's largest organ, and absorbs things that are put on it. Diaper makers say the chemicals are no problem and have been proven to be harmless - I like to play it safe and avoid them as much as I can.

So, here is what we use - the options are endless (here is a good site listing tons of choices) and I certainly haven't tried the majority of them. My 2 favorite things are (1) prefold diapers with covers and (2) pocket diapers. A prefold diaper looks like this, and comes in many sizes. We have "infant" for little babies and "regular" for bigger ones. You can lay this diaper inside a diaper cover, or wrap it around the baby and hold it with a Snappi which works like the old fashioned diaper pins (but way easier, safer and cooler). If you go this route, you need about 20-30 of them, and about 5-8 covers, depending on how often you want to do laundry. The covers can be used over and over - just drop the wet/dirty prefold into the diaper pail and lay in a new one. I only wash the cover if it gets poop on it, or if I have used it all day. My favorite covers are Flip (one size fits all), Tiny Tush (sized and one-size covers) and Thirsties (Duo covers fit two sizes).

The other kind I like to use is called pocket diapers. With pocket diapers, you have a cover with a pocket sewn in where you stuff absorbent pads or even a prefold diaper. You have to own more of these diapers since the whole thing gets dirty each time. The advantage is that they are much easier to use, especially for someone who is new to cloth diapering. It's basically like putting on a disposable. For these you would need 20-30, again depending on how often you wash them. A very popular type of pocket diapers is the BumGenius brand. They work well, but I buy a cheaper version called Kawaii. They are only $7 each and the quality is really good, especially the elastic. I have also used Fuzzibunz (from a garage sale, woot!) which I liked and Softbums (not a pocket, but similar) which I did not.

Cloth diapers come in two types of closures - snaps and velcro (also called "hook and loop"). Velcro is quicker to use (just like a disposable), but it wears out and gets clogged with fuzz. Snaps are a little trickier, but they work very well and last a long time. Also, if you have a kid who likes to take off their diaper, snaps are harder for them to undo. I buy snaps when I can, but my velcro covers are working ok even after almost 3 years.

So, here's the full disclosure: cloth diapers are more work and they are a little gross. You need to wash off poop - that's just a fact. But as parents, we deal with poop (and other delightful bodily fluids) anyway. It's just a matter of being willing to touch it on a regular basis in exchange for the other benefits of cloth diapering. Actually, the first 6 months or so is a breeze since breastmilk poop comes right off in the washer - it's just the solid food poop that is more work. My husband and I handle it just fine (most days :), and thousands of cloth diapering families will tell you that it gets to be just part of the routine.

Well, that's enough fluff talk for tonight. I'll do another post soon and write about washing diapers, other things you need, and anything else I can think of. I'll leave you with my favorite cloth diaper online store Sew Crafty Baby. They have free shipping all the time!